Man de la Maza

Thursday, February 24, 2005

The Quiet Room

Thanks you for joining us today, Mr. Queue. Do you know why you're here?

I'm not sure. Does it have to do with the "incident" at 7-11.

Yeeeesss. Can you tell us in your own words what happened?

Well, I wanted a Diet Coke. A big one. So I went to sleven to get me a Super Big Gulp, but the guy the guy there said they didn't have any Super Big Gulp cups.

Yes, then what happened?

Before or after the police arrived?

Before

Oh, I guess I kind of freaked out. You see, I'm under a lot of stress because I'm doing a lot of chess problems and ... well ... you see, I really wanted a Super Big Gulp ... and well ... I'm kinda embarrassed ...

It's OK. We're all yor freinds here.

OK, well. I beat him with a stick of beef jerky until he was unconscious.

And why did you do that?

Because the Twinkees weren't hard enough, and I couldn't lift the soda machine.

No, I meant why did you hit the clerk. It doesn't seem a cause for violence.

Yes well, I was also en prise, and I thought if I could take the clerk then the bishop could make a discovered check in aisle 5.

I'm sorry. I don't follow.

I was en prise -- means I was able to be captured. Like I was saying, if I take the clerk and the police take back, then the bishop in aisle 5 moves to aisle 7 -- right ? The pork rinds are now in check, so the cough drops have to interpose and ...

Yes?

Well, the RC cola delivers mate in aisle 3. Actually, it delivers mate on the "Moon Pies" which is kinda funny. It's like the Redneck Mate.

Ahhhhh Yeeees. Thank you, Mr Queue. I think you'll be staying with us for a while.

145 days down, 10 to go
738 problems down, 301 to go in Circle Four
Level 10: 99%, 27 sec/prob
Level 20: 95%, 45 sec/prob
Level 30: 85%, 72 sec/prob
Level 40: 77%, 86 sec/prob

13 Comments:

  • Don,
    You're beginning to scare me. . .

    8-)~

    By Blogger Jim, at 9:50 PM  

  • Yeah, where does he come up with this stuff? It makes you wonder.

    PS

    By Blogger Pawn Sensei, at 10:48 PM  

  • hahahaha!

    By Blogger Chris, at 4:04 AM  

  • I nominate this for Post of the Week by an Knight Errant! Funny stuff....

    /Jens

    By Blogger Jens, at 6:09 AM  

  • Will they let you use your PC in prison? Will the other inmates understand the circles idea?!

    By Blogger CelticDeath, at 6:34 AM  

  • Don, hilarious post. You should write a book about this when it's over. Hang in there :-)

    By Anonymous BachSinger, at 10:03 AM  

  • I agree on the book. And I volunteer to be ghost writer. As well as the liaison between hospital officials and publisher as needed.

    By Blogger Lord Lessismore, at 11:10 AM  

  • LMAO! Hold on to sanity - your almost done.

    By Blogger King of the Spill, at 2:36 PM  

  • You nag, you beg, you long for your beloved and hilarious partner to settle down, take a serious interest in something, and stick to it with tenacity. Wow. He showed me. Now I walk past on tiptoe, look longingly at his profile and try and keep the children's doors closed at night so their lexicon of profanity does not increase exponentially day to day.

    By Anonymous The Empress de la Maza, at 2:38 PM  

  • Ha, I can imagine. Fortunately we don't have childen so I can swear often and loudly without worry of hurting sensitive ears. At least I'm not the only one who takes these problems so seriously...

    Garcon! A nice padded cell for two please!

    Regards,
    Chris

    By Blogger fussylizard, at 6:33 PM  

  • Glad to see you are still reading, Bach Singer. It had been awhile since you chimed in.

    To all, don' worry. I've got my laptop at the "Institution". If you think Level 50's are hard, try doing them on Thorazine. It's a bitch.

    By Blogger Don Q., at 8:30 PM  

  • Don,
    Try and ingnore the messages being sent to you through the filling in your tooth from outer space, it will be the quickest way to fool them into thinking you are acutally sane.

    By Blogger Pale Morning Dun - Errant Knight de la Maza, at 10:06 AM  

  • :)

    By Blogger Sancho Pawnza, at 11:01 PM  

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