Man de la Maza

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

A Knight's Penance

OK, I missed a day.

Did my exercises Sunday night, but Monday night I went to bed early. I did do the first rank of the Knight sight drill in my head. This was slow going but it did bring about sleep perhaps even earlier. If I had made it all the way across the board, I could have rationalized that the blindfold nature of the exercise could count as a full day's exercise, but one rank is ... well ... missing a day.

In order to purify myself of this sin, I have decided to take the day off and go into the mountains to meditate. Wait, that sounds way better than going to work, so it can't count for penance. I will say 15 chess rosaries ("knight on the rim is dim ... bishops of opposite colors is a draw ... don't take that e5 pawn, you don't know where it's been ... 54 ways to move a knight from d5 to f3 ... the pawn is the soul if chess ...) and drink decaf coffee all day. At lunch I wil ponder the inpenetrable mysteries of USCF rulebook like

  • What is the difference between "insufficent material to win", "insufficient losing chances" and "insufficient material to lose on time"?

  • Can you claim a draw base on opponent's "insufficient familiarity with basic hygiene"? How about "insufficient chances to mate with member of opposite sex"?

  • What type of opponnent cannot keep score for religious reasons? I am a Hasidic, Luddite Baptist. We believe that Karl Schlecter was the Messiah, chess notation is the word of God, and Lasker had a two game winning condition in his match with our Lord ...

  • What mystical purpose was there for writing the rulebook in cross-referenced stream of consciousness style prose?

Surely such travails will return me the path to righteousness.

20 down(after penance), 135 to go


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